Being in a relationship with a politician can be a unique and challenging experience, as highlighted in a recent episode of Beth Rigby’s Electoral Dysfunction podcast. Jen Wilson, the partner of Baroness Ruth Davidson, joined the discussion to share her perspective on what it’s like to navigate life alongside a politician. She described how her life became "quite intense" when Ruth was leading the Scottish Conservatives from 2011 to 2019. The demands of political life are far from the typical 9-to-5 routine, and partners of politicians often find themselves adapting to a world that is unpredictable, demanding, and deeply intertwined with their personal lives.
The episode also featured a caller whose partner is an MP, asking for advice on how to "protect the sanctity of our friendships and social life locally." The caller admitted that while they knew life would change, they had no idea just how different it would become. Jen Wilson’s response captured the essence of this reality. She explained that being the partner of a politician is "definitely quite different" and "quite intense" because politicians are essentially "on call pretty much 24/7." This constant availability means that personal time is often interrupted by work-related matters, making it difficult to maintain a sense of normalcy in relationships and social interactions. When Jen and Ruth first got together, it took time for Jen to adjust to the rhythms of political life, particularly the blurred lines between work and personal time.
One of the most challenging aspects of being in a relationship with a politician, according to Jen, is navigating social interactions. She shared that avoiding political debates in social settings can be tricky, especially when people approach Ruth with constituency issues or other matters in inappropriate moments. "We’ve had people interrupting a nice candlelit dinner to talk about potholes or the constitution," Jen remarked. Over the years, the couple has had to develop strategies to politely shut down such conversations. They’ve even joked about Ruth being "off duty" and directing people to contact her office during non-working hours. This lighthearted approach helps set boundaries while gently communicates that certain moments are meant for personal time, not politics.
Ruth Davidson echoed Jen’s sentiments, reflecting on how her role as the leader of the Scottish Conservatives created a whirlwind of activity from the very beginning of their relationship. Unlike typical jobs, political life often requires working evenings, weekends, and being constantly reachable. Ruth acknowledged that this kind of schedule can disrupt family life and social rhythms, especially for partners who may have grown accustomed to a different pace of life. For those in relationships with politicians, it’s crucial to accept that their partner’s life is no longer entirely their own. Serving in Parliament is a life of service, and it comes with sacrifices that affect not just the politician but also their loved ones.
Baroness Harriet Harman, a veteran Labour MP with decades of experience, also weighed in on the topic. She offered advice specifically to "a man who is married to a woman MP," urging him to focus on supporting his partner in her political career rather than trying to preserve their old way of life. Harman emphasized the importance of embracing the partner’s role as a pioneer and being their biggest ally. This perspective highlights the transformative nature of political life and the need for partners to adapt and evolve alongside their loved ones.
Ultimately, the experiences shared on the podcast paint a vivid picture of the challenges and sacrifices that come with loving someone in politics. It’s a life that demands flexibility, understanding, and a willingness to navigate the unpredictable. While the rewards of public service can be immense, the personal costs are real, and it’s up to both partners to find a balance that works for them. By sharing their stories, Jen, Ruth, and Harriet offer valuable insights into the often unseen side of political life—one that is deeply human and relatable, even in its intensity.
